- Pointless Super Powers

The power to jizz mango chutney

The power to produce up to 20 gummy bears at once through the process of budding

The power to teleport yourself anywhere you want except for your major organs.

The power to expel a single spaghetti from any limb randomly

The power to have any nice guy, but they're all gay.

The ability to find objects in the last place you look

I’M JUST HAVING AN ALLERGIC REACTION TO THE UNIVERSE. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

The power to discern the breed of a cat by the taste of its poop.

Radiation resistance inversely proportional to the amount of radiation around you.

the power of losing and getting in 2nd place or 3th. the power of clearing your mind only for it to stay blank. the power of riding a horse really well aslong as you think it is a cow. the power of breathing AIR. the power of bellyflopping cement. the power of reading ancient arameîc. the power of speaking perfect gibberish.

The power to make a watch that functions as a small phone and is named after a fruit. I would call it Applewatch.

The ability to have 99 problems without one of them being a female

The power to read minds but only when you're alone

The power to finish anyone's sentience.

The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

The power to make muffins appear out of nowhere.

Power to turn off your computer randomly. You cannot controll that power.

The ability to look directly at the sun without damaging your eyes.

The ability to seduce any woman.....over 200lbs......that was born with a penis.

The power to make remotes invisible

The ability to know if you're the only human alive.

the power to slitely change how you look by smiling

the power to be on fire always.(even when u are in water)

Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!