The power to secrete concentrated orange juice from your toes every time you secrete concentrated orange juice from your toes.

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The ability to judge a book by its cover.

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The power to make your self drunk using only your mind, but only while your driving your kids to school

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The power to pull any woman that just asked you for a shag.

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The epic power of laser pointer vision.

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The power to wake up every morning and have to pee

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the power to become translucent

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being able to change shape whist flying "It's a bird!, no it's a plane , It's a flying Sammich!?!

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The power to eat the booty like a poor person's groceries

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The power to think about thinking about having the power to be stupid

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The power to like any show

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a healing factor that can heal paper cuts in 2hours

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The power to whenever your punched you cry a lot of asid that burns your flesh

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That F-ucking ass hole that keeps typing morals all the time, he is F`n annoying! Moral: You thought I was a hater eh? Hahaha got you there ;) And if that is not the most pointless pointlessity in the world, then... I give shit about thumbs ups really, they just discovered that I have an bad allergy to dust, and thus I have been unable to work out for TWO YEARS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! Me so happy, me love you long time. That is what women usually say to me, instead that they change the happy with horny... and replace you with someone else`s name. Self Irony... such a delight... and maybe I am lying... who knows... who wants to know? Nobody? :( sob... excellent! :D Damn CATCHPHRA! I SWEAR I USED TO HAVE A KITTEN THAT WAS TWICE THE SIZE OF TEXAS!

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The power to hear people's thoughts when you fap

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the power to eat with your butt

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The ability to put on a glove that is slightly too large and have your fingers grow to fit the glove.

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The power to shit out toilet paper.

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The power to teleport yourself anywhere you want except for your major organs.

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the power to get sick

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the power of losing and getting in 2nd place or 3th. the power of clearing your mind only for it to stay blank. the power of riding a horse really well aslong as you think it is a cow. the power of breathing AIR. the power of bellyflopping cement. the power of reading ancient arameîc. the power of speaking perfect gibberish.

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The power to make a watch that functions as a small phone and is named after a fruit. I would call it Applewatch.

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The power that when you sit down you fall through the seat

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The power to magically summon a knife at a gunfight. Moral: "A knife in a gunfight is pretty good when the guns run out of ammo"

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!