The power drown in water

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The power to instantly make an accurate assessment on tomorrow's hangover probability well before you've consumed far more than the amount of alcohol which would guarantee it...and yet manage to forget sometimes you have this superpower.

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The power to make a woman be quiet but only during sex.

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The power to turn a brainfart into a fart

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the ability to stare at a cactus for a week without being bored

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See through invisible people

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The ability to have all your dreams be nightmares that you remember vividly.

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the power to slitely change how you look by smiling

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The ability to jump

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The power to sense the emotions of inanimate objects.

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The ability to turn into a phone when its smash your phone season

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The power to instantaneously fall asleep but only when tomorrow is a day off.

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The power to turn into a tree.

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The power to shrink your dick smaller but an inability to make it larger (even back to the original size).

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TREE POWERS ACTIVATE

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the power to uncontrollably say but I love you, when you're breaking up with someone

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The power to kill anyone just by threatening them with slavery and death and leaving foot and fingerprints all around their place. Moral: THREATEN MY PEOPLE WITH SLAVERY AND DEATH! THIS IS SPARTA!

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the power to be Justin bieber

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The power to fall without screaming.

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The power to turn everything you touch into shit.

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the power to turn into a cheerio at will

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The power to die instantly from not reading books, meaning if you don't read books you'll die.

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The ability to have udders for nipples.

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The power to see the past. Only the past. Never the present.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!