open up pickles glass

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Super empathy! The power to feel the suffering of every living being...

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The power to not get shit dick

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The power of becoming sick when you need it.

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The power to shoot sperm out of your eyes

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The power to start a zombie apocalypse

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The power to run at the average speed of a normal person running.

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The uncontrollable power to teleport to the places you don't want to be and every time this happens... a random fat guy barfs on you

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The power to resurrect dead insects

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The power to eat razorblades, but only when covered in a mixture of antifreeze, bile and tabasco sauce.

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The power to have anything in the world you will never ever need in your life

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The power to make fires bigger, but cant control them

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The power to fuck your moms pussy at will (her opinion or desire means nothing to the will of your useless superpower!). Moral: SONS OF SICKMAN FRAUD REJOICE!

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The power to poop in the worst time ever and you cannot control it

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The ability to make children cry whenever they see you.

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The power to turn into a rolly polly, but only twice a year and for 5 minutes each time

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The power to lower your own ego.

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The power to bet on the fastest horse in the track at a formula 1 competition. Moral: RUN FORREST RUUUUUUN!

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The power to bake cakes precisely 2.7% faster than usual.

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The power to spit fire only by drinking gas into a flame - Isaac goodall

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The power to lick your balls.

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The power to grow your fingernails at 1.5% times the average speed, provided you contribute three hours a day to meditation.

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the power to make a super smelly fart every time you eat 40 cotton balls

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the power to solve any problem and answer any question or equation, you just have to read all books known to mankind.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!