The power to walk 1% faster.

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The power to expel a single spaghetti from any limb randomly

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The power of having useless wings grow on your testicles

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The power to be caught sniffing your sisters panties and get punished by having her crotch forced up and down yours while your mother licks your balls.

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The power to resurrect the dead but only for 1 second.

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The power to write about pointless superpowers.

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The power to eat junk food at light speed

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The power to finish anyone's sentience.

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The power to science.

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The power to put up with your in-laws.

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The power to disintegrate yourself

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The power to attract any women you like by ripping of your junk.

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the ability to stare at a cactus for a week without being bored

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The power to push "pull" doors

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the power to be on fire always.(even when u are in water)

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The power to (involuntarily) duplicate someone's wounds or illnesses by touching them.

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To Shoot Piss Out Of Your Mouth Only If You Are Taking A Dump

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The power to make everyone think that having no power is the ultimate power so everyone thinks they're powerful when they realize they have no powers but you have one so you win

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To be able to catch a speeding bullet with your head.

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The power to gain 10 pounds whenever you eat something

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THE POWER TO SHOW HOW SERIOUS YOU ARE VIA CAPITALIZATION

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the power to eat an apple in an instant but you dont like apples

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The power to read 1.2x faster than the average person.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!