The power to see through solid objects, but only when said solid object is transparent.

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to make your bowel work backwards

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The ability to teleport to distant locations with no way of returning.

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the power to put your shoes on faster than you did before

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the power to get a random fruit every 10 days...

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The power to have 99 problems, except your dog... if she is female.

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the powers to be a fat gassy woman

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The power to turn into wood once you go inside a wood chipper.

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the power to imagine any women naked...but only as an octogenerian

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The power to control the weather, but only in space

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The power to be caught sniffing your sisters panties and get punished by having her crotch forced up and down yours while your mother licks your balls.

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th eability to have sex with anyone in the world but have to have sex with rosie o'donnell first

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have the power of making chicken appear when your a vegan

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The ability to make any girl hook up with you, while your penis is numb

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the power to fly, but only when you are in a plane that is already flying. inflight flight

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Justin Bieber

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The ability to jump

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The ability to have ALL the powers... But you have to have them activated by people you fight. Only the people you fight....

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The power to lick your own elbow

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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To Shoot Piss Out Of Your Mouth Only If You Are Taking A Dump

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The power to die and come back to life in the middle of a crossfire between two tanks.

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The power to be a GOD with your imagination

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The power to recite all of Encyclopedia Brown's cases in alphabetical order.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!