the power to die

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The power to eat, just one, Lays potato chip.

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the power to fly in space

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The ability to have laser eyes only when your eyes are closed, you'd kill everyone in your sleep!

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The power to turn into a tree.

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the power to be extremely guilty in the bum.

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The power to be able to stop the world for two seconds only every 2 years.

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The superpower to realize that if you guys thumb my former comment up, then it is no longer a useless "superpower" and would by itself contradict uh... itself.. by being useful... Moral: Hey, turning into Beiber at will is useful for banging silly young chicks at will is it not? And I will rather bang brainless women (beliebers yes I mean you, because everyone deserves some love) Disclaimer: Sexual age of consent is 16 over here, and good luck calling a whole nation for pedophiles, nope girls simply mature faster here... Fact: Above.

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the power to win the crying game

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The power to develop a cancerous tumor anywhere in your body at any time you want.

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The power to become as big and powerful as Gary Coleman.

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The power of dying whenever you want.

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Zebra Man has the power to change color from black to white and back again, at will

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The power to have all the powers written in here

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The power to glitter in the sunlight. Especially if you're a guy.

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The power to remove your foreskin at any given time

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The power to never sleep and instead go outside and think about your life.

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The power to change your emotions at will.

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The power to sleep through a dream.

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The power to breath under water but only if you're holding your breath

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The ability to get aids and stay a virgin.

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Invisibility, but only in the dark.

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The power to turn into a sloth at random times.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!