The power to swear if you do not believe in a God. Moral: Meh... if I post anything against God here you guys will thumb me down and that matters... it matters so much that I will use the section over to shit talk God... yeah... thumb me down already fearing zealots... show me your true power (being Gods bitches) now that is pointless power!

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The power to fly in tornadoes

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power to be the best theif ever known to man but only if your in the most high tech prison

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The power to instantly pee when you see a person.

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The power to read people's mind but can only read their minds when they are thinking about sex.

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The power to smell through your arse.

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ability to smack the crap out of austin calhounh and laugh at him

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The power to become the worlds most famous necrophilia pørnstar after dying.

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the ability to take an apple core out of the bin at will

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The power to turn on your Xbox without touching it but you need your controller.

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Teh pewer off havin noo sentense speeled rite.

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The power to make an awesome school lunch for the kids!

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The power to turn everything you touch into cheese

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Being able to be invisible when no one is watching.

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The power to be invisible when your eyes are closed.

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The power to write pointless superpowers

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The superpower to realize that if you guys thumb my former comment up, then it is no longer a useless "superpower" and would by itself contradict uh... itself.. by being useful... Moral: Hey, turning into Beiber at will is useful for banging silly young chicks at will is it not? And I will rather bang brainless women (beliebers yes I mean you, because everyone deserves some love) Disclaimer: Sexual age of consent is 16 over here, and good luck calling a whole nation for pedophiles, nope girls simply mature faster here... Fact: Above.

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spontaneous ejaculation

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Invisibility, but only in the dark.

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The power to forget how to swim.

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power to make the most lethal fart know to man but only when you girlfriends is around

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The power to vomit pizza and root beer chunks at will.

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The power to jizz in your pants when you eat a grape.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!