The power to have useless superpowers which can only be used at wrong times

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The power to look like your jacking off every time your mom walks in the room

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The power to read this text unless you can see it.

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The power to have a shield stretch across your vagina, but is only activated when you see a very attractive man.

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The power to make hot women have sex, but only with guys that you don't know.

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The power to notice when things are photoshopped.

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The power to die everytime you pee

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The power to only be able to eat poop

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The ability to play UNO without a tongue

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The power to type a power on this website and see it's already taken.

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The power to time travel two seconds into the future.

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The power to be alone

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the power to teleport to the center of the earth

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the superpower of making pointless and lame jokes for which no human laughs (except crazy ones and apes)

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The power to think about thinking about having the power to be stupid

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The power to jump 1 centimeter higher than you usually can

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The power to think of pointless powers.

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The power to fart slightly less deadly

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That F-ucking ass hole that keeps typing morals all the time, he is F`n annoying! Moral: You thought I was a hater eh? Hahaha got you there ;) And if that is not the most pointless pointlessity in the world, then... I give shit about thumbs ups really, they just discovered that I have an bad allergy to dust, and thus I have been unable to work out for TWO YEARS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! Me so happy, me love you long time. That is what women usually say to me, instead that they change the happy with horny... and replace you with someone else`s name. Self Irony... such a delight... and maybe I am lying... who knows... who wants to know? Nobody? :( sob... excellent! :D Damn CATCHPHRA! I SWEAR I USED TO HAVE A KITTEN THAT WAS TWICE THE SIZE OF TEXAS!

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The power of temporary invincibility but you have to kill yourself first

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The power to speed up time moments before you are about to die.

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The power to be mario for 10 seconds then you vomit shit for 17 hours. this happens every week.

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The ability to turn anything into a belt.

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the power to be able to foresee your death within a millisecond of it happening

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!