the power to tie your shoelaces with one hand

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The power to go back in time but only be able to go 1 second back

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The power to predict the present

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The power to have intense orgasms, but only if you choke yourself.

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the power to make an earthquake that an ant can not even feel

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The power to wake up one second earlier than everyone else.

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The power to pronounce the word "rural."

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The power to poop in the worst time ever and you cannot control it

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The power to type useless powers that no one's ever gonna read.

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The power to have sex with someone but only in your mind

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The power to have infinite energy, but only when you're asleep.

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the power to defecate while standing up...

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the power to stop writing pointless super powers

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The power to make police pull over the black guy next to you (in your car) and anytime this happens you get the ticket not him

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the ability to know if a video game sucks just by looking at the name

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The ability to rectify health and safety concerns, using a sword.

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The power to sh*t bricks

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The power of confusing the word "your" for "you're", or vice versa.

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the power to say i can bend you

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The power to see the future when you sleep but forget it as soon as you wake up

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The superpower to realize that if you guys thumb my former comment up, then it is no longer a useless "superpower" and would by itself contradict uh... itself.. by being useful... Moral: Hey, turning into Beiber at will is useful for banging silly young chicks at will is it not? And I will rather bang brainless women (beliebers yes I mean you, because everyone deserves some love) Disclaimer: Sexual age of consent is 16 over here, and good luck calling a whole nation for pedophiles, nope girls simply mature faster here... Fact: Above.

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The power to perform incredible feats of strength and speed but only while on an elevator.

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The power to become as big and powerful as Gary Coleman.

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Brazilian waxing via telepathy.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!