The power to play FPS games in real life (respawning included) but lag a lot

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The power to have hindsight.

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Ability to eat a burger without going to the mall first and talking to your grandma there for 45 minutes about how it hasn't rained for a quite awhile and we could sure use some!!!

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Shoppers today in the mattress department we just started a great promotion.

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The power to fly for 2 seconds when jumping

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The power to be superman with no power's

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Being able to poop your pants at will with no control over it.

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The power to be invincible everywhere but your face

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The power to fly but only when your feet are on the ground

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The ability to lose 0.000000000001 percent more skin per year.

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The ability to change your weight

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The power to fly with your feets on the ground

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The power to lick your balls.

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The power to summon fire with the use of a match

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The Power To Make Justin Bieber.

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The power to read the bible, and then learn hypnosis, and look at the bible again... Moral: And they say hypnosis is worthless because it is just suggestions... the bible uses EVERY single trick in the book, and the bible`s teaching lead to the "holy" crusades (of kill murder and rape across the world, too many died to count), the bigotry, greater intolerance to different people, and just now (Bush before him) Obama is assuring his people that this war is "GODS WILL!" And seriously, if darkness is considered evil... then no wonder Captain America and his men did not hesitate to kill and enslave Captain Africa and his people a couple years ago... And its still going on, thanks lord (sarcasm, duh) Suggestion: Most powerful force in the universe, and it is invisible to boot... daaaang im powerful.

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The ability to grow and shrink in size, but you still have the same strength and weight and can only do it once a month

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The power to teleport to the center to the center of the Earth.

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The power to see through windows!

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The power to be black, but only if you are at a KKK meeting

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The power to run at the slowest speed possible.

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the power to not have powers when you need them most

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The ability to straighten pictures on a wall with your mind.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!