The power to eat food.

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The power to buy the newest iPhone without the charger...

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the ability to be governor and have an Argentinian mistress

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The power to own Greek, Italian and Irish stocks.

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to make your bowel work backwards

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the power to change invisable when you blink

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The power to give yourself Kidney stones.

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The power of telepathy but only when you alone

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The power to state the obvious at will.

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The power to have 99 problems, except your dog... if she is female.

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The power to kill anyone just by threatening them with slavery and death and leaving foot and fingerprints all around their place. Moral: THREATEN MY PEOPLE WITH SLAVERY AND DEATH! THIS IS SPARTA!

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Will i tell you the joke about the butter? Aww no you'll only spread it!

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The pewer to become a human bullet magnet. Moral: "DONT WORRY PEOPLE! I SHALL SAVE YOU ALL!" (Well if you want to sacrifice yourself to save them all, then you its useful and you a douchebag)

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The power to create peanut butter and jelly sandwiches without having any peanut butter.

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the power to pee shit and shit piss.

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The power to turn load noises into cake

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The ability to be completely bullet-proof as long as a bullet never hits you.

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The power to become a frog when a snake sees you

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The power to think of words that rhyme with orange.

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The Ability to remove your penis and grow a new one. the old penis will grow roots and become a penis tree. A lovely addition to any home.

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the power to yell a math problem at will

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AXE Body Spray Rituals--Learn Manly Rituals the Girls Can't Manliest Rituals &Get Her Affection

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The power to shit for 5 days

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The power to lower the temperature in the room but only if you're cold

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!