The power to read your own mind!

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the power to be nonflammable unless your on fire

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The power to grow your nose hair out to one hundred times its normal length.

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The power to freeze laptops when you're watching porn and someone comes in.

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The power to become invisible, but it only works when you are using it for noble and moral purposes.

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The power to have two eyes that can't see very far or through anything.

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the power to extend commercial time while your in the bathroom

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The power to make something slightly sticky. Like after you each a juicy piece of fruit. You make everything feel like that.

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The power to run at 0.5mph

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the power to eat anything edible but not if it's edible.

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The ability to hear the opinions of inanimate objects.

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The power of knowing every fact about dolphins

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The power to read the future in a language you will never learn to understand. Moral: I read that "thy comment expects a billion red thumbs"... WTF does that mean?

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The power to read this text unless you can see it.

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The power to perform stan up comedy whilst sitting down

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the power to detect when there is oxygen near you

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The power of perfect 20/20 hindsight

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The power to change locations with: Michael Jackson, Elvis, Hitler, Stalin, and many more, simply by jumping up and down 3 times, and just in case of trouble, you can change back by doing the same this time. (good luck jumping inside a sealed casket smartass.

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The power to destroy any electronic device seconds after touching itoesajfaokpnhgåpesajfjåaeafjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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the power to be in minecraft but as a pig near someones house

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The power to whipe the floor with your face.

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The power to become perfect. Perfect: There can be only one moral man.

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the power to make your nipples taste like shit and your shit taste like nipples

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The Power of your footstep sounding like a horse gallop

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!