The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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The power to read the bible, and then learn hypnosis, and look at the bible again... Moral: And they say hypnosis is worthless because it is just suggestions... the bible uses EVERY single trick in the book, and the bible`s teaching lead to the "holy" crusades (of kill murder and rape across the world, too many died to count), the bigotry, greater intolerance to different people, and just now (Bush before him) Obama is assuring his people that this war is "GODS WILL!" And seriously, if darkness is considered evil... then no wonder Captain America and his men did not hesitate to kill and enslave Captain Africa and his people a couple years ago... And its still going on, thanks lord (sarcasm, duh) Suggestion: Most powerful force in the universe, and it is invisible to boot... daaaang im powerful.

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the power to run in slow motion

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The power to make the opposite of what you want to happen (and you can not think of bad things happening)

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the power to jerk off

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The power to be any animal you want, but only if you are that specific animal that you want to be.

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boo

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ability to run very fast without stopping forever

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constantly flowing sexy anime hair.

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The power to have all the powers written in here

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The power to understand that if you type or read at this section, then it is probably because it means something to you... Moral: That is almost a superpower... I mean wow pointless makes a point which is pointless, and a pointless point with a point is... anyway I just divided by infinite loop. Cant say that is far away from zero which by itself is basically a circle... Damn im good! (just for that final line im gonna get thumbed down, its worth it though.

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The power to blow a bubblegum bubble without bubblegum.

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The power to die and come back to life in the middle of a crossfire between two tanks.

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the ability to make toast while standing on your head at 12:46 every Tuesday Greenwich Meridian Time.

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The ability to fully regenerate... your eyebrows.

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The to ejaculate anytime but only when your mom appears in front of you.

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The ability to pass out at will.

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The power to run as fast as a snail.

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The power to be invisible but when no one is looking

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The power to Grow a baby in a woman.... for 9 months.

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understanding every language only if you get insulted

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The power to teleport but only on the surface of the sun.

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the power to talk to your elbow

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The power of telling the name of ANY song/music ever made by just listening the first three seconds of it.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!