The power to eat carrot cake, then die 12 seconds

The power to ejaculate napalm

the power to shit your pants uncontrollably when your mom calls your name

The ability to anticipate the release of half-life three. Sidenote: Goes hand in hand with the ability to bathe in your own tears.

The power to eat food, unless you're touching food.

The power to fly only when in contact with the ground

The power of reading your own mind.

The ability to write pointless super powers. -Anna

The power to look extremely bored and emotionless when typing "lol" or "xD"

The power of being able to fly, but only on February 30th.

THE SUPER FRIENDS HEROES LEAGUE OF SUPER HEROES OF LESSER USEFUL HEROES! KNIGHT FARTSALOT!: Fear my methane! You and me in one small room for 3 days and you will faint for sure! Uncle Diabeetush: Save their parents Captain! Ill take care of their children! Captain Novolin: I have great sugar level control! Help me! Evil Mistress Sugarpie is too sweet! Runald MagnifiCient Donalds: HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR WOOOOO! I keep American people from starvation! Remember kids less than 250 pounds counts as starvation! And their LEADER... MORAL MAN!: The hell am I introducing myself here for? Damn you Subconscious! How can you expect people to understand my genius of putting myself here! They are morons! Oh... hi everybody.. wazzup?

The power to turn yourself into Donald Trump.

Knowing whether or not there is an afterlife

The power to write my own pointless superpower ?

The power to make food from anything, but noone can eat it.

thw power to not feel anything during sex unless you dont like the sex (ie rape, ugly fat pearson)

The power to tickle your own feet.

The power to remember anyone's birthday unless you are at their birthday party.

To be able to commit a sexual offense but never get away with it

The power to know the answer of what is the purpose of life only after death.

power to turn into an idiot once you get a scholorship.

The power to freeze time but you would also be frozen. Basically dooming everyone to be frozen in time with no way of getting out. No one would even know about it but it will happen.

The power to read a book in 2 seconds but forget everything but the title.

The power to produce wi-fi but with password no one knows.?

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!