The power to instantaneously fall asleep but only when tomorrow is a day off.

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The power to turn acute triangles into equilateral triangles.

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the power to fail at life

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The power to (involuntarily) duplicate someone's wounds or illnesses by touching them.

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The power of turning into a crushed can right after you got into a car accident.

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The power of dying whenever you want.

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The ability to guess the reCAPTCHA words first try

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the power to be a free wireless hotspot only when you are completely motionless.

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The power to read the bible, and then learn hypnosis, and look at the bible again... Moral: And they say hypnosis is worthless because it is just suggestions... the bible uses EVERY single trick in the book, and the bible`s teaching lead to the "holy" crusades (of kill murder and rape across the world, too many died to count), the bigotry, greater intolerance to different people, and just now (Bush before him) Obama is assuring his people that this war is "GODS WILL!" And seriously, if darkness is considered evil... then no wonder Captain America and his men did not hesitate to kill and enslave Captain Africa and his people a couple years ago... And its still going on, thanks lord (sarcasm, duh) Suggestion: Most powerful force in the universe, and it is invisible to boot... daaaang im powerful.

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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the power to uncontrollably say but I love you, when you're breaking up with someone

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boo

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the power to jerk off

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constantly flowing sexy anime hair.

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ability to run very fast without stopping forever

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The power to count to infinity.

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The power to understand that if you type or read at this section, then it is probably because it means something to you... Moral: That is almost a superpower... I mean wow pointless makes a point which is pointless, and a pointless point with a point is... anyway I just divided by infinite loop. Cant say that is far away from zero which by itself is basically a circle... Damn im good! (just for that final line im gonna get thumbed down, its worth it though.

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The ability to "Right Click" Properties

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The power to regenerate limbs, but twenty years after you've lost it.

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The power to both love and hate marmite.

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The power to control any type of urine or feces

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The power to go back in time, but only 1 second back and with a 10 second recharge.

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the power to make people disappear but they reappear 5 seconds later 6 centimetres from where they were standing when you made them disappear

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The power to recharge batteries by licking them.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!