The ability to float sideways very slowly

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the ability to shoot with 0.100% accuracy

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The ability to read minds by absorbing their mental disorders

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The power to do anything else but worship me. Moral: I DEMAND SATISFACTION! I mean I dont need it, I just want you to do something useful with your life for once... That practically makes me into a saint... Aww.... Steve Jobs No More... LOOOOOOOLLLIPOP!

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The power to scratch your head 1% faster than usual, if it doesn't itch.

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The power to sign every comment - Some douche (Scott?)

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The power of throwing back grenades

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The power to tap dance awesomely, but only when wearing bunny slippers.

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The power to produce fingernails at will that people can eat.

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The power to increase the rate of plant and fungal matter growth by 15% by staring intently at it.

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The ability to know exactly where every Canadian penny within 5 feet of you is.

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The power to let someone control your dick

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The power of superspeed...which comes with horrible stamina and Asthma.

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The power to fart out of someone else's bum

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the power to not fall in love with someone while you're dating someone else.

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a healing factor that can heal paper cuts in 2hours

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Being able to poop your pants at will with no control over it.

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The power to fly but only on a foggy Christmas night

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the ability to cure anyone but only if you apply their injury to yourself

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The ability to always wake up in time but never fall asleep in time.

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thee power to not eat but still starve

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the power to never be late to work, but only when you're unemployed.

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The power to incriminate yourself in a crime you didnt commit

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the power to make faces at the blind

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!