The power to sleep for one thousand years

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The power to not exist.

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The power to die

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An ability to exist without any food but only after you eat some food.

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The power to survive in space as long as you have a working space suit on.

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the power to make people disappear but they reappear 5 seconds later 6 centimetres from where they were standing when you made them disappear

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The power to jerk off with no hands.

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the power to teleport anywhere and see anything but every time to teleport there's 75% chance you'll die

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the power to kill someone if you shoot them in the heart

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The power to fly but fall when floating above the ground.

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The power to ramble on and on endlessly with no end in sight with the most inane of thoughts that no one can begin to guess when they will end or what the value or goal of anything so long-winded might be until you find yourself questioning your very desire to go living if you are only going to continue rambling.

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the power to believe that im not a superior being......just a regular guy!!!

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The power to turn into Patrick Star permenently and be dumb as him.

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The ability to summon a used cottonbud once in your life

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The power to cure cancer, but only on corpses

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The power to make every single person in the world hate you and want you dead.

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power to be an alcohoic

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the power of milking a cow aslong it is a horse that you are milking. the power to ride a bull for 0.55 nanoseconds. the power to kill 1 bacteria every 20 min. the power to spread herpes without having symptoms. the power of sharing awkward details of your bowel movements to your family at dinner. the power to lift a small cup of water. the power of falling of your face whilst knowing it will happen 20sec before. the power of inhibiting passage on the curb. the power to cause massive traffic jams without owning a car. the power of listening but not understanding. the power of understanding all languages but the one that is being spoken to you at the time.

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The ability to pass out at will.

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The power to shit in your eye

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The ability to shit from your mouth and burp through your ass

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Being able to create duplicates of yourself, however you must give birth to these duplicates out of your anus (incredibly painful and its highly likely that you will pass out from the pain). And to disappear they must claw their way back up.

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The power to attract cats but be allergic to them

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The power to lose all your limbs

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!