The power to realize that I am starting to sound (and type) more and more like Salvador Dali, and being proud because the man was a genius, the most fantastic thing he could do every morning, was to wake up with a person as fantastic as himself! And while he indeed walked a different path than most do, no one can deny his footprints are clearer than most... Perfection? A losers wish... to be outstanding... is a gift on its own. Moral: Yeah many of you see this as pointless, so I thought I could just as well add it. While I dream of the age where people stop looking for Gods and strengthen the most powerful tool in the universe: YOU.

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The power to use a ridiculous signature that kills any chance of receving green thumbs. Moral: What you talking bout foo?

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Radiation resistance inversely proportional to the amount of radiation around you.

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The ability to float sideways very slowly

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The power to think of a useless superpower, but start typing and forg........ GOD DAMMIT!

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The power to levitate mustard.

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The ability to revert any computer to windows vista. Works best on Linux operating systems.

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The power to turn any drink into pee.

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(PS: Neo was the seventh Jesus, we live in the matrix)

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a chi...ldren's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The power to slightly disfigure anything made out of macaroni.

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The power to let 100 cockroaches crawl upon you for everytime you display emotion

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The power to live in lava, but only when your cold

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The power to fly, but only when pigs do

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the power to not fall in love with someone while you're dating someone else.

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The power to turn on a hot flash, but only when it's 80 degrees out.

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the power to turn everthing you touch into to some form of pork but you are an orthodox jew

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The Power to make miracle, now days there are no safe place in earth. We may died anytime

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The power to produce fingernails at will that people can eat.

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the power to photobomb random peoples photos without even knowing

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the ability to cure anyone but only if you apply their injury to yourself

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The power to sign every comment - Some douche (Scott?)

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The ability to see into the present.

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The power to create a real-life version of any video game character, but an equally capable evil version is also created and they can pay attention to nothing except battling endlessly with neither gaining the upper hand.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!