The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a children's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

The power to waste time talking about pointless superpowers when you could be doing something productive

thumb_up thumb_down +98

the ability to un-dank any meme

thumb_up thumb_down +98

I got rhe power to always respawn in the middle of a noob tube. it's a blast...

thumb_up thumb_down +96

The ability to enter the gender's changing room with no one noticing but losing the ability to see and feel.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

the power to detect when there is oxygen near you

thumb_up thumb_down +96

the power to make realy convincing whale noises

thumb_up thumb_down +96

Reversed telepathy, everyone can hear your thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

The power to to excrete fluids from your body after digesting food or obtaining liquids

thumb_up thumb_down +96

The power to get 100% on every test but get caught for cheating.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

The power to know all the answers to life after you are fatally wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down +94

The power to automatically yell every action you do like in a Japanese fighting game, I once started doing this for fun, at the end of the day eveyone hated me, good luck. (OPEN DOOR! OPEN DOOR! CLOSE DOOR! POOL SHOT! CUMMING HARD CUMMING HARD! SONIC BOOM! BEING TOLD TO SHUT UP! BEING TOLD TO SHUT UP! TAKING A PUNCH TO THE FACE UPPERCUT!)

thumb_up thumb_down +90

the power to like charlie

thumb_up thumb_down +88

The power to have extreme S and M sex with Rosie O Donnell at will, you as the submissive.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

the power to turn on a random guys tv

thumb_up thumb_down +86

The power to imagine boobs whenever you want at any time

thumb_up thumb_down +86

The power to summon huge snowstorms, but only on the weekend.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

The power to see your reflection with The Mirror

thumb_up thumb_down +82

The power to excel at something that nobody cares about.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

The power to become erect at the sight of a man's butthole, oh wait thats just liam flanagan

thumb_up thumb_down +78

The power to kill someone as long as they've already been killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +78

The power to whenever you watch tv you can only watch commercials.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

The power to control Rollie pollies

thumb_up thumb_down +76

The power to defeat any ant you may encounter.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!