the power to know when the pope is taking a dump

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The power to generate fecal matter when being held at gunpoint.

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The power to level up on a game which you can't level up on.

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The power to never be hungry for five minutes after you eat.

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The power to bake cakes precisely 2.7% faster than usual.

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The power of becoming an apple tree

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The power to lick your balls.

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The power to make somebody fall in love with anybody who isn't you.

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The power to repel women.

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The power to smile uncontrollably.

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the power to change invisable when you blink

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The power to grow nipples all over your body at will

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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The power to have 50%-78% water in your body

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The power to journey into the future of the past.

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The power to open a pickle jar in one try

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The power to read captchas 2% faster than usual.

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The power to state the obvious at will.

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the powers to be a fat gassy woman

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The power to forget what your superpower is

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The power to have 99 problems, except your dog... if she is female.

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the ability to discern homophobic, racist, and mysoginistic posts on this site from the actually ok ones.. oh wait this is useful STOP BEING A JACKASS

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I am derpin the erp to derp the derp the erp o o o o yeah derp frika frika frika derp derp derp

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the power to fly, but only when you are in a plane that is already flying. inflight flight

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!