Superhuman strength at the expense of being completely paralyzed

thumb_up thumb_down +106

The Power to breath while under a cup of water

thumb_up thumb_down +104

The power of laser vision only while eating Oscar Mayer hot dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +104

The ability to read people's thoughts but only in a language that you do not understand.

thumb_up thumb_down +104

The ability to lose all your limbs on command.

thumb_up thumb_down +102

The power to make anything smell like beets by touching it and saying "Sideburn!"

thumb_up thumb_down +102

The power to make a Stegosaurus appear when you make a time-machine!

thumb_up thumb_down +100

The ability to unbleep swear words on your tv.

thumb_up thumb_down +98

The power to blink at incredibly fast speeds

thumb_up thumb_down +98

The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a children's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +98

the ability to un-dank any meme

thumb_up thumb_down +96

The Power to waste one's own time, watching a video, about someone else wasting their time, making a video, listing a small list of pointless super powers.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

The power to communicate with sperm.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

the power to detect when there is oxygen near you

thumb_up thumb_down +94

the power to make realy convincing whale noises

thumb_up thumb_down +94

Reversed telepathy, everyone can hear your thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down +94

I got rhe power to always respawn in the middle of a noob tube. it's a blast...

thumb_up thumb_down +94

The ability to teleport instantly to your current location.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

The power to instantly tun any kind of meat into hotdogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

The power to float in water, and then sink sometimes.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

All of aquaman's powers.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

The power to summon huge snowstorms, but only on the weekend.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

The ability to turn into a werewolf but only when your holding silver

thumb_up thumb_down +86

The power to have extreme S and M sex with Rosie O Donnell at will, you as the submissive.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!