The power to teleport all gold to criminals and or teleport criminals to gold

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the power to turn a dollar into 99 cents

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the power to fly but only about 5 feet above the grove, and only after you fart

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The ability of holding your breath for the rest of your life.

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The power to have superhuman strength. But I have to jack off to do so.

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The power to make birds levitate as you walk by them.

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the power to play a flute to summon a black leprechaun but only when your on the verge of passing out

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The power to turn a rock into a slightly bigger rock

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Eclairvoiance: The ability to forsee when you will eat your next cream-filled, chocolate coated pastry...

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The ability to see through insects.

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The power to watch a movie without falling asleep through most of it

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The power to wipe your ass with one confetti

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The ability to levetate three-four inches only when you are alone in an elevator.

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The power to Google "Google".

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the ability for things to literally go in one ear and out the other

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the power to count from A to purple

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The power to be allergic to cat hair.

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The power to see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch

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The power to turn back the clock at will. Not time, just clocks.

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The ability to tell when someone last used the bathroom by licking their thumb.

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The power to see the future, but have nobody believe you.

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The power to grow your fingernails at 1.5% times the average speed, provided you contribute three hours a day to meditation.

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the ability to shoot a little steam cloud from your penis every time you finish peeing

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The power to reseal bottles!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!