The power to magically create a shampoo bottle in your hands but only when you're on the toilet

The ability to never see CGI in any movie ever again

The Power to penetrate Ellen Degeneres's Vagina.

the power to know when a politician is lying

the ability to be a super genius but can't speak or write

The power to open doors that are already open

The ability to unbleep swear words on your tv.

to be able to lift any weight of feathers

The power to pick your nose but you happen to be Lord Voldermot

The power to read minds, but only those of dead people.

The power to fly only 5mm above the ground.

The power to heal any wounds caused by the bite of an Indonesian speckled carpet shark in an area of slightly tepid saltwater any time between 3:00 and 4:00 in the afternoon

The power to be allergic to cat hair.

The ability to breath under lava

The Power of being able to do anything but does not work when you need it

The power to die, and you can only do it once.

The power to not be turned off by the word "moist"

have the power of making chicken appear when your a vegan

The power to play Call of Duty for free, if you've already bought the game not for free.

The ability to see things only as their component atoms.

The power to make ice sculptures out of marble

The power to feel like you're gonna sneeze forever

The power to type some incredibly perverted "superpowers" and get a boner while laughing so loud the neighbors on both sides of your apartment closed their windows.

The power to jump higher than a speeding bullet and run faster than a tall building.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!