To the comment below: You wont get a chance to miss me mortal... Moral: The color of envy... you wish you could be like me... everyone of you, yet some of you got the balls/pussies to prove it! For the people! For the freedom of speech! For courage and strength! For balls of steel! For the ladies... and most importantly... because I f*cking want to! NOW AND FOREVER! I AM MORAL MAN!

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The powwer of super-serial watching on netflix

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The power to poop without wiping

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The power to have any power when they are completely pointless to have.

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The ability to obtain a date with any girl you want, but only if you are gay.

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The power to be a dog, with Herpes, that smells like farts.

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the ability to take a fart that other people can actually see.

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The power to stop reading this. Or the power to live forever but only if you never ate BACON !

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The power to change your eye color.

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The power to see through glass. Oh wait.

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The power to transform any valuable rock into celery

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The power to inhale carbon dioxide and exhale oxygen

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The power to remember when pepperidge farm remembered

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The powers to have super speed when you can't run anymore.

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The power to slam revolving doors.

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The power to give epic blowjobs, works only if you are a incarcerated, straight male.

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spontaneous ejaculation

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the power to know you forgot somthing but not know what you forget

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the power to control your own body movements

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THE POWER TO KNOW WHEN YOUR CAPS LOCK IS ON

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The power to buy free things.

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The ability to turn into a were-turtle when exposed to the full moon.

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the power to kill plants in a desert.

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The power to read any captcha, but no longer be able to type.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!