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Candidate Equals
Pointless Inventions
Pointless Super Powers
Republican Equals
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the power to slightly darken the color of tree bark upon touch
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-32
The power to look angry when not trying too and everyone else notices it and im just lonely.
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-36
The power to have super-sweaty hands
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-46
the ability vote up this superpower
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-50
The power to transform gold into nothing.
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+37
The power to die in one second
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+37
the power to like Hilary Clinton
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+29
The power to buy jerky on a semi-weekly basis.
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+21
The Power to glow in the dark during day time only.
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+21
The power to slap your buttcheeks together, then transform into a head of cabbage.
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+19
The power to transform any valuable rock into celery
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+15
The ability of making your Windows go blue-screened
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+13
Just because you do not see and advert here, it does not mean it is not here... Moral: Dudu duduh dudududun... ALWAYS MORAL-COLA! (aka Moke in the brits) NOW IN LIGHT AND SUPERFAT EDITIONS! Order now for the special I am fagneto edition! TASTE THE FAGNETIC! Because if gay is your way, todays morals, support this way! Lesbian-Coke is out of stock, but pre-order now and receive a moral man offer: "the lesbian drunk party invite international live!" *porn music* Hurry up! Only 2 Billion tickets left! No wait... just 50 left!... no wait... 40... no 30... 29... you better hurry ladies! As much *free* booze you can drink! *The booze Is free, the entrance is free, but the payment to get out of the building depends on how much you drink, non payers will be graped and their sex pictures will be sold on the internet* *All lesbian sex pictures will be sold on the internet, grape is not allowed! Surprise sexy time is allowed though!* Moral-Cola!
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+11
The power to give epic blowjobs, works only if you are a incarcerated, straight male.
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+9
The power to smell any point in time
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+5
The power to grow your own armpit hair at a rate of 1 ft/day, and change its color at will.
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+5
The power to summon earthworms
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+3
Having the power to stand still
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+3
The power to make any woman fall in love with you (Single or not) But during sex you can't pull out and protection always fails.
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+1
the power to tell Austin Zachrich to go pee
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+1
The ability to face reality after reading all the pointless powers
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-1
Look handsome when no one is looking at you and then when they do you change back to normal
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-1
The power to breathe through your mouth when you have a stuffy nose
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-3
The power to turn into birdseed
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-3
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Pointless Super Powers
A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!