The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a children's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The ability to fly a millimeter off the ground.

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The ability to grow and retract your hair at will, but cutting it will remove the ability.

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The power to become invisible, but it only works when you are using it for noble and moral purposes.

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The power to not be turned off by the word "moist"

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The power to wake up to surprise sex in the morning... in prision.

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The power to speak any language except the language of your people.

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The power to watch a movie without falling asleep through most of it

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The power to thumb down Moral Man's posts. NOTE: It is required that the user of this ability possess average to above-average intellect. Seriously, bury this dickbag's posts. He's an annoying twat.

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The power of laser pointer vision.

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power to have no power at all

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The power to watch Netflix instead of writing a thesis paper.

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The power to change any of your friend's name to Tom but only if their real name is Thomas.

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The power to cry if you hear or see the word cry

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the power to turn into a fish that is less then one mm small while only on land

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The power to have tastebuds inside your ass.

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The ability to just 1 meter high, but whenever you do so you lose a meter from your height, only to regain it when you hit the ground.

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The power to poo.

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the ability to be governor and have an Argentinian mistress

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The ability to levetate three-four inches only when you are alone in an elevator.

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The power to ressurect anyone alive by killing them first. Works only 10 percent of the time...

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The power to make sense of Donald Trump

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The power to only be obesely fat.

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the power to fall asleep while being awake

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!