The power to smell bacon and/or ham at 3 o clock in the afternoon on the second Saturday of March

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The power to jerk off without using your hands

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The power to die

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I am derpin the erp to derp the derp the erp o o o o yeah derp frika frika frika derp derp derp

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The ability to swim in water.

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?u?op ?p?sdn ????? o? ???od ???

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The power to feel the emotions of the dead ones

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The power to speak parseltongue except when you're around snakes.

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The ability to keep a song stuck in your head overnight

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The ability to produce a nickle each time you smack you`re face on any hard surface so hard you break at least 6 bones.

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pedo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The power to die on command.

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The power to do 1d3 points of damage on successful touch attack twice a day assuming no spell resistance.

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The power to become encased in concrete at will.

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The power to make lie the ultimate truth

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the power uncontrollably explode expensive cars

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the power to shit your pants uncontrollably when your mom calls your name

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The power to do EVERYTHING backwards

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The power to vomit a thoroughly blended mix of pickles, cheese, onions, caramel, lead paint, octopi, boiling water, vinyl, super glue, hot sulfur froth, and hand sanitizer.

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The power to have horrible spelling while trying to write an ad for the pointless superpowers app.

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The power to jump 100 feet in the air and have bones made of glass.

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The ablility to think of the worst racial slurs, but only when a member of that race is nearby.

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The power to see though Kashmir when people are around no wait that would be a good

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The ability to be the newest post until someone else posts.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!