The power to be Chuck Norris. Oh wait..

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The power to laugh at Tyler Perry's House of Payne

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The power to hurt the people you love

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The power to generate fecal matter when being held at gunpoint.

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The power to have amazing breath, but only if you brush your teeth first.

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The ability to breath pre-chewed cereal.

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spontaneous ejaculation

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The power to be a dog, with Herpes, that smells like farts.

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the power to do one push-up

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The power to see through windows!

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The power to make yourself get a cramp at will.

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The ability to not freak out when your mom calls you

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the ability to take a fart that other people can actually see.

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The abilty to change what your hair smells like every two years

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The power to have YMCA or "In the navy" play explosively loudly from your nostrils and be immune to it yourself. Moral: WE KNOW YOU ARE H0MOSEXUAL ALREADY! TURN THAT SHIT OFF!

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The ability to transform into a bucket full of water... With no idea how to turn back.

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The power to make anything taste slightly more like spit.

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The power of immortality, but only when you try to commit suicide.

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The Ability to remove your penis and grow a new one. the old penis will grow roots and become a penis tree. A lovely addition to any home.

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The power to get anything for free but at a cost

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The power to instantly waste all your money on cheap mango chutney at will.

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The power to not move or do anything.... at all

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The power to make your limbs fall off but they do not grow back.

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the power to see into the present.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!