- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

The ability to tell when someone last used the bathroom by licking their thumb.

The power to turn shades of brown or red, but only when exposed to the sun for an extended amount of time.

The ability to grow and retract your hair at will, but cutting it will remove the ability.

The power to read the minds of chickens every other Tuesday.

The power to remove any fart smell from a room by taking ten deep and loud inhales through your nose (only five for girl farts).

The power to heal any wounds caused by the bite of an Indonesian speckled carpet shark in an area of slightly tepid saltwater any time between 3:00 and 4:00 in the afternoon

The power to harvest the cheese off your wiener.

the power to get a 100" erection but only over your dead greatgrandma

The power to self destruct yourself 1 time and 1 time only

The ability to breathe and swallow at the same time.

the power to copy super powers but no one has super powers

The power to see the future, but have nobody believe you.

the power to lift 5 tonnes above your head, but only for 0.1 seconds

The superpower to fly but when you reach 55 feet up you loose your power

The ability to make someone's heart stop, but only after they have died on their own of natural causes

The power to pee after drinking lots of water

The power to have a godlike super human strength but it only activates during a REM sleep cycle.

The power to eat 2 hotdogs in the same bun

the power to f**k your family all at once

The ability to money into dog shit.

The power to be always invisible, but can't interact with the objects or humans, only with animals.

the power to turn everything you touch into poop.

the power to self destruct without hurting people.

The power to scare female plants.

Pointless Super Powers