The power to automaticaly eat yourself when you get hungry

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The power to eat a core of a pineapple.

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The astounding ability to lay eggs instead of give birth.

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The power to make fires bigger, but cant control them

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The power to destroy any electronic device seconds after touching itoesajfaokpnhgåpesajfjåaeafjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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The ability to shoot apples, but they disintegrate in mid-air. Also, the apples are tiny.

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The power to make Justin Bieber be dead but only when you are listening to someone good at singing

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the power to summon a pen, once

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The power to attract cats but be allergic to them

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the power to turn on a random guys tv

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The power to travel to a parallel universe where everyone who exists dies every .1 milliseconds.

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The power to make a baby stop crying for 1 second

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the power of the home depot lisp... and as an added bonus the power of how the universe works lisp

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To have the ability to trip over your own "meat curtains" at will and make it look graceful... somehow.

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The ability to read. No wait that is actually helpful. Never mind.

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The power to eat ass.

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The power to be writing a pointless superpower on a website about pointless superpowers when you could be doing something productive.

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The power to die but once

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the power to charge rechargeable batteries.

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The power to read your own thoughts.

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The power to read and immediately understand any vanity license plate from Arizona.

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The power to turn everything one touches with one's hand into skittles, but only applying to amputees.

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The ability to teleport 0.00000000000000007 seconds in the past

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The power to magically generate drugs in your pockets, but only while being arrested or in a police station.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!