The ability to fart like a zombie.

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The power to throw fire out of your hands but at the same time burn your hands.

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The ability to turn everything to gold; as long as the original material is gold.

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the power to shit bricks

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The power to make infinite paper clips.

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the power to speak only in binary

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The power to be Justin Bieber and be cool at the same time

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The power to read and agree to the terms of service.

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The power to have no power.

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The power to eat anything that is from a plant

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The power to control dodos

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The power to see extremely far, and to see trough everything except yourself. Congrats you are stuck with seeing your own ass wherever you go for the rest of your life. Yeh i am moral man whatevs...

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The power to put water up my butt and squeeze and shitty water squirts out.

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The power to kill people just by destroying their reflections in a particular mirror that needs to be destroyed into pieces (and can't be reconstructed). Only what's reflected can be destroyed (people, living creatures, etc.). The mirror's 6 foot in height. So basically, you can destroy a giant's leg with it or part of its head (if its head is bigger than the mirror). Anything that gets fully reflected can be killed destroyed completely.

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The power to hesitate when seeing naked girl.

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The power to light someone's pants on fire by saying: "Lier Lier pants on fire"

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The power to have any pointless power you want

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A follow up to the next comment bellow... (the irony) is that you also get the powers to type YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! And other quotes at random points... I got these powers... you do not believe me? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: GUANTANAMO BAY CUBA! Just making conversation... (throws random small dog in the trash container) last part was just me its not like you get the power to do what he does in movies :P

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The power of 2 milliseconds of omnipotence followed by death.

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The power to let anything you eat taste like sh*t

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the ability to lick your own anus

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The power to turn the tv off from 0.00000000001 inches away, with your mind, but it takes half an hour to actually turn off. This superpower runs out whenever you come within a mile of a tv.

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The power to eat gumbo with a fork.

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The power to have knowledge of your power.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!