the power to fart out of your penis

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The ability to read any language and understand it perfectly but only in pitch black darkness.

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The power to turn into birdseed

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The power to have as much fun typing these as me. Moral: Of course you possess no such "useless" superpower you sad loser!

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The power to cook bad meals.

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The power to take your groceries from your car to your house in two trips or less.

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My charms is my superpower, but damn I cant shut up after spending some quality time with the ladies! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! MY BODY WAS NOT READY! I feel like yelling out my real name, but you know, if you know me (I am easily recognizable) the girls I spend time with would feel like I am bragging about them, and I am not, I am simply celebrating my conquest, you see, you came, you saw... BUT I CONQUERED! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT Moral: Feel free to thumb this down, my superpowers need to be contained, or else I will beep my way to an early grave! Girls, mwah... and you know, just dodge the kiss if you cant handle love personified, they arent homing nor anything... Should I ask my doctor if she has any medications that will help me wire down after uh... Multiple female company? HAHAHAHAAAAAAH!... The thought made me kinda sad, im better, now just to prove to my company here that I got balls of steel, I am gonna post this and let you judge me all you want! BECAUSE YOU CANT HAVE EM!

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The power to smell like a beacon and be delicius

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The power to have a stroke at will.

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The power to make infinite paper clips.

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The power to be distracted with grea

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The power to be scared shitless and run around like a retard for about 100 minutes.

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the power to read captchas

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The power to think outside the bun.

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The power to have no power.

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The power to lose your hearing and eyesight/

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The superpower to know everything about the earth today after 2.5trillion years have passed

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the power to read 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 books every second

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The power to wiggle your toes unless they're tomatoes..

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The power to go back in time and kill yourself in the past.

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The power to hear morse code.

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the power of make your leg invisible

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Being a freemason

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The ability to sense cheese.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!