The ability to de-carbonate soda

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Be able to create fire with your hands but you are not invisible to it

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The power to transform gold into nothing.

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The ability to look at yourself in anything, except a mirror.

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The power to do 1d3 points of damage on successful touch attack twice a day assuming no spell resistance.

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The power to make the dead that where once deaf see again.

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The power to lose your hearing and eyesight/

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I have the power to make /b sarcastic, witty and funny.

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The power to be able to be a guy who can create and control fire but if it touches you, you still burn

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The power to turn computers into pencil sharpeners.

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THE SUPER FRIENDS HEROES LEAGUE OF SUPER HEROES OF LESSER USEFUL HEROES! KNIGHT FARTSALOT!: Fear my methane! You and me in one small room for 3 days and you will faint for sure! Uncle Diabeetush: Save their parents Captain! Ill take care of their children! Captain Novolin: I have great sugar level control! Help me! Evil Mistress Sugarpie is too sweet! Runald MagnifiCient Donalds: HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR WOOOOO! I keep American people from starvation! Remember kids less than 250 pounds counts as starvation! And their LEADER... MORAL MAN!: The hell am I introducing myself here for? Damn you Subconscious! How can you expect people to understand my genius of putting myself here! They are morons! Oh... hi everybody.. wazzup?

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The power to block your own powers

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the power to travel through time... at the speed of normal time.

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the power to jizz money

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the power to kill plants in a desert.

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The powers of findinf Waldo everywhere but in his books

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the power to finish an all you can eat

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The power to attract flies everytime you're eating or on a date.

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Gas station quality laser pointer vision.

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The power to be invincible to every thing but fire water tornadoes bullets explosions guns knifes blades swords grenades sticks pointy objects disease infections sicknesses flu illness natural disasters accidents vehicles trucks electricity meteors bombs rockets drug addiction peer pressure starvation tiredness torture pain monkeys radiation.

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The power of telekinesis over any object one is physically touching.

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The ability to replace your DNA with parmesan cheese.

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The power of 2 milliseconds of omnipotence followed by death.

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The power to have wood when you wake up.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!