the power to eat only one lays potato chip

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The power to be born on the same day as your birthday.

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power to be an alcohoic

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The power to have as much fun typing these as me. Moral: Of course you possess no such "useless" superpower you sad loser!

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The power to cook bad meals.

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The power to take your groceries from your car to your house in two trips or less.

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The power to communicate with dandelions.

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My charms is my superpower, but damn I cant shut up after spending some quality time with the ladies! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! MY BODY WAS NOT READY! I feel like yelling out my real name, but you know, if you know me (I am easily recognizable) the girls I spend time with would feel like I am bragging about them, and I am not, I am simply celebrating my conquest, you see, you came, you saw... BUT I CONQUERED! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT Moral: Feel free to thumb this down, my superpowers need to be contained, or else I will beep my way to an early grave! Girls, mwah... and you know, just dodge the kiss if you cant handle love personified, they arent homing nor anything... Should I ask my doctor if she has any medications that will help me wire down after uh... Multiple female company? HAHAHAHAAAAAAH!... The thought made me kinda sad, im better, now just to prove to my company here that I got balls of steel, I am gonna post this and let you judge me all you want! BECAUSE YOU CANT HAVE EM!

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The power to smell like a beacon and be delicius

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The power to think outside the bun.

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The power to have no power.

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The power to psychically give politicians half baked excuses for failed and immoral decisions.

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The power to go back in time and kill yourself in the past.

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the power to read 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 books every second

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the power of make your leg invisible

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The superpower to know everything about the earth today after 2.5trillion years have passed

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The power to wiggle your toes unless they're tomatoes..

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Everything you touch turns into piles of steaming shit.

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the power to teleport yourself to a volcano core

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Being a freemason

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The ability to sense cheese.

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The power to see into the future and past but not remember any of it.

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The power to communicate with applesauce.

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the superpower to be able to fuck extremely good with or without genitals

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!