the power to shoot poop very far out your butt

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The power to suck your own dick but not when your horny

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power to permanently shrink one eye.

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The ability to fly as long as you're touching the floor.

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The ability to teleport 0.00000000000000007 seconds in the past

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The power to magically generate drugs in your pockets, but only while being arrested or in a police station.

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The power to bleed

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The power to destroy the earth the next time you blink.

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The pewer to become a human bullet magnet. Moral: "DONT WORRY PEOPLE! I SHALL SAVE YOU ALL!" (Well if you want to sacrifice yourself to save them all, then you its useful and you a douchebag)

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The power to be a woman

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Smell chick peas from over two miles away

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The power to solve any problem with another problem e.g. Putting out a house fire with a flash flood.

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The power to hear everything. But only def people have it.

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the power to remotely jizz in someone's sock.

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the power not eat more than one pringel.

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Feeling people's depression.

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The power to type some incredibly perverted "superpowers" and get a boner while laughing so loud the neighbors on both sides of your apartment closed their windows.

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being black

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The power to remember a song's name, but you forget when you want to search, write down, or talk about it.

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The power to be Chuck Norris. Oh wait..

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the ability to fart out of your nose

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The ability to produce water but only when under water.

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The power to turn into a toothpick. Once. And you can't go back.

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The power to count to infinity.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!