The power to hold your breath forever, but only in a hot-tub.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

The power to do flaming flying kicks by yelling CAPTAIN FEET!

thumb_up thumb_down +98

The Power to make 0 dollar bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +94

The power to get up early for school, only on the weekends

thumb_up thumb_down +88

the power to read something without looking at it

thumb_up thumb_down +86

power to eat through your but

thumb_up thumb_down +84

the superpower to be able to fuck extremely good with or without genitals

thumb_up thumb_down +74

the power to taste your own spit

thumb_up thumb_down +72

the power to act exatctly like a pineaplle.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

The power to do a wheelie on a unicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

The power to die while dieing

thumb_up thumb_down +66

The power to avoid metal detectors, but only when you have nothing metal on you.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

The power to see into the future of the past

thumb_up thumb_down +62

The helpers... early days part 3!: Shitfixer: What color is your poo? Hmm.. you should eat more vegetables.., You need someone to fix your toilet? Try calling Batman... Batman: Yes? Are you retarded? Dense or something? Of course I repair toilets and install showers! I am the goddamn Batman! The Pope: The less people use condoms, the more children we can bang! I really hope nobody finds out our secret reason for banning condoms or stuff... AMEN! Moral Man: People are gonna try crush me for the last one, they gotta find me first though... and I kill and eat Zealots (and pussy) for breakfast... and its nearly breakfast so please come by.. only 100 at the time though, I have limits too you know... although some still think I am perfect... sigh...

thumb_up thumb_down +60

The power to not have a power.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

The power to troll the Internet.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

The power to order stuff online with your dad's credit card

thumb_up thumb_down +46

The power to to do the boogy dance when ants go up your pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

The power to control all bleach within one-hundred feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

The power to grow new teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

The power to expand the size of your head and gain weak telekinesis, but you die in 3 days, the bigger you make your head, the more powerful your telekinesis but the faster you die.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

The power to remove all dirt from your skin when submerged in a tub of warm water.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

The power to abstain from sex until you're married. At age 83.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

The power to make anyone with the exact same genetic makeup as you bleed at a wound if there is a bullet imbedded in their head

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!