The power to breath underwater, but only after someone has recently peed in it

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the power to know when a politician is lying

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the power to turn into a narwhal. Once. At your grandmother's funeral

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the power to teleport 2 in. from were you were standing in 8 hours

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The ability to have every possible thought as fast as the Flash is capable of moving and faster and know how every scenario can, will, and most likely will play out, yet you cannot say anything about them and they cannot be put to use. As well as no one can read your mind or anything similar to obtain said knowledge.

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The power to understand math.

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the ability to predict the winning lottery numbers in a completely random order

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The power to make condoms out of pizza dough.

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The power to have a seat right over there.

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The power to become a forensic paranoiac raving lunatic at will... HEY! YOU! Why are you gonna give my comment a thumbs down eh? AND WHY A THUMBS UP? Are you gonna hack my account and kill my family? OH YEAH! OH YEAH? I AM GONNA KILL THEM MYSELF JUST TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU! BAHAHAHAHA!

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Mario's fireball gets put out when it hit water.

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The power to type so many Pointless Superpowers that the never get more than two thumbs ups (well once from me too), because nobody wants to read them all! (from your original and best celebrity type M.. MORAL MAN!... what you do not know who that is? I ought a! You commoner! Peasant!)

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alarm that goes off when hiding

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The ability to create very weak wifi with a 1000000 character password.

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The power to know all the answers to life after you are fatally wounded.

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The power to move the remote from the coffee table, where it is sitting 2 feet out of reach, into your hands

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The power to turn back time and get the word "emit".

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The power to hear peoples thoughts, only when you're deaf

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The power to party like it is 1999 despite it being 2011

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The power to eat toilet paper and crap self-wiping poop. Think about it...

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The power to think of pointess facts at any given moment

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The power to ride a unicorn without a horn that can't fly.

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The power to have infinite energy, but only when you're asleep.

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The power to have a atomic fart

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!