The power to activate all musical instruments at full volume just by going to sleep.

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The power to teleport dead dogs 1 foot away from you once a month

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the power to end sentences with prepositions.

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The power to change your eye color.

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The power to stop global warming on the planet Neptune.

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The power to break through walls but forget to shout "OH YEAH!"

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The power to smell your own feet without taking your shoes out.

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The power to turn into a dogbed when somebody says micro-tacos

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The power to become extremely good at licking pussy... cats.

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The power to lose the remote.

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The power to drink poison and survive 6 hours longer than any other person

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The power to see through windows

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The power to charge your iPhone if it is not an iPhone

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The power to always smell like cheep wine.

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The power to hear a person's thoughts, but only when they're on the toilet.

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The power to make everyone you touch see nothing but porn

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The power to help bitches stay alive! Bitches love staying alive!

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The power to be able to mate with squirrels and have offspring.

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The power to enlarge your penis but only when you use a penis pump.

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The power to dissasemble yourself, but not re-assemble yourself.

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The Power to be more useless then the most useless object in the world.

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Using your brain when you could simply type in "google.com." in the url.

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The man who isn't afraid of sharks. Not even a little.

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The ability to fly but, if you use it, birds start flocking around you and shitting on you.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!