The power to hear a person's thoughts, but only when they're on the toilet.

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Birthday In August Just wait On it

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The power to lose your genitals when you masturbate or have sex

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The power to have bad breath after you brushed your teeth.

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The man who isn't afraid of sharks. Not even a little.

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The Power to think of a better superpower you could have chosen

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the power to glow in the light

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See the answers to any question inside your head while suffering from severe dyslexia.

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The power to fly at the speed of sound, but only at ground level with your eyes closed.

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The ability of telepathy but only when your targets are toast pieces, not whole toast mind you, toast pieces. This includes crumbs

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the power to steal other peoples super powers but only if they dont have any

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the power to at will swap your hands and feet around... you fall over every time

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The power to realize that at least half of the top ten "powers" are yours, and you don't know if you are proud or ashamed of having so little to do... On the bright side, you don't sign them like some other douches...

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The power to simply walk into mordor.

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The Ability to remove your penis and grow a new one. the old penis will grow roots and become a penis tree. A lovely addition to any home.

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The power to be white but only in the city limits of detroit or compton.

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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the power to cure someones cold by giving them AIDs

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The power to make other people hold their breath.

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the power to be alive but only when awake

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The power to grow giant, sharp and needly painful dildoes out of any surface just by sitting on it.

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The power to get foot-boners

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The power of Being stupid

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the power to see through water.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!