alarm that goes off when hiding

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The ability to grow a beard whenever anyone in the world shits

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The ability to travel back in time when and where there was a major plague- bringing only the clothes you are wearing.

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the power to predict the future 3 minutes later.

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The power to make any woman have volcanic earth.shattering orgasms but only if she's having sex with another man

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The power to go into the future. Only by 1 second.

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The power to control an army of termites to eat any wooden object, as long as the object is from IKEA

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The power to levitate birds while they are flying....

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The power to think of a witty comeback 3 days too late.

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the power to make people's spleen hurt for no reason

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The ability to make all the world's coffee lukewarm.

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The power to realize that at least half of the top ten "powers" are yours, and you don't know if you are proud or ashamed of having so little to do... On the bright side, you don't sign them like some other douches...

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The power to make one's skin very bumpy.

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The power to conjure chairs at will.

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The power of not having to fill out chapchas

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The power to understand the purpose of live, and every other world mystery, exactly .5 of a second before you die.

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The power to harvest the cheese off your wiener.

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The power to generate lottery numbers which don't win

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Power to turn on the PC with your finger and use the internet but only if the internet is available. Please see contact detail and call the number for the following service...

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The power to shapeshift into a frog, but not the power to turn back

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the power to fall asleep while being awake

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The power to be jelous of your friend's new sports car

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The ability to get aids and stay a virgin.

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The power to see events happen 0.04 seconds AFTER they occur

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!