The power to eat junk food at light speed

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The power to spell words incorrectly when speaking.

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the power to see 3 seconds into the past.

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the power to smell like ham

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The power to shut me the F UCK UP! Moral: Ironically I have not said a single word for hours... so that would be impossible... Now, if you hear MY voice when you read this, then you are either psychic or psychotic, which is not that different if you ask me... Now.. if you hear YOUR voice inside your head, then YOU SHUT THE FRUCK UP AND GET LOST! :D :D :D :D :D :D (A MoralMan Original, now this one was pretty cool)

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The power to remove a horseshoe from a horse

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The power to heal any wounds caused by the bite of an Indonesian speckled carpet shark in an area of slightly tepid saltwater any time between 3:00 and 4:00 in the afternoon

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The power to see into the present

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The power to be invincible to every thing but fire water tornadoes bullets explosions guns knifes blades swords grenades sticks pointy objects disease infections sicknesses flu illness natural disasters accidents vehicles trucks electricity meteors bombs rockets drug addiction peer pressure starvation tiredness torture pain monkeys radiation

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The power to get extreme orgasms random, often in very awkward situations.

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The ability to not fart, but only while you are alone

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The power to easily flirt with women but only near your mom.

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The power to turn into Justin Bieber.

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the power to turn wine into water

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The power to time travel to the present moment

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The ability to turn your semen into spiders.

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the power to die....

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The power to breathe

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The power to instantly kill anyone you start to love

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The power to guess correctly how many bags you'll need for groceries.

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The power to lose this power.

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The power to enter into a Coalition with the Conservative Party

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the power to hold your breath 0.01 seconds longer than the average human

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the power to SHUT UP ALREADY!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!