the power to not have super powers...

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the power to walk up the stairs without losing your breath...

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The power to turn time back... To the point where you turned it back.

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The power to heal yourself but only damage you inflict on yourself.

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the power of superspeed but only backwards

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The ability to talk to deer, only while riding one.

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The power to fart to inside. By mouth.

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The power to shapeshift, but only when below ground.

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The power to teleport, but only to life threatening situations.

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The power to make ice sculptures out of marble

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The power to become a forensic paranoiac raving lunatic at will... HEY! YOU! Why are you gonna give my comment a thumbs down eh? AND WHY A THUMBS UP? Are you gonna hack my account and kill my family? OH YEAH! OH YEAH? I AM GONNA KILL THEM MYSELF JUST TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU! BAHAHAHAHA!

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the ability to grow a boner to an incredible size but only when you are asked to come up to the front of the class

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To Turn Thin To Macho but only in left arm

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The power to be invisable when your dead

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The power to be scared shitless and run around like a retard for about 100 minutes.

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The power to talk to animals but only as they are attacking you

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The ability to be smart, but only if you study for the first 18 years of your life

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the power to be the best at a game but nobody knows you

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the power to make broccoli taste like asparagus

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cry acid tears

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The power to display emotions at will

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the power to SHUT UP ALREADY!

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The power to fart rainbows

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the power to be nonflammable unless your on fire

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!