The power to die whenever you want.

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The power to make a sound that attracts whales

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The power of eating but only when you're dead

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the power to drive well and see (applies to asians)

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The power to guess correctly how many bags you'll need for groceries.

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The power to run faster than a bunny but slower than a turtle

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The power to LEROOOOY JEEEEENKINS

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to change what time it is 1 time per week

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The power to see through bones.

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the power to destroy galaxies but only when drunk or high

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To sumon a cheeto named bill every time you say cow.

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The power to object to every point you try to... Moral: OBJECTION!

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The power to glow in the dark but only when your really sleepy.

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The ability to fart inwards.

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The ability to fly but only for 5 seconds and when you are on an oily floor in tube socks being chased by 10 Puerto Rican woman.

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The power to go back to Anti-jokes.

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The power to send emails via pigeon

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The power to fill in ___ blank

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The power to feed cat toes to your boss but only during a job interview

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The power to be a dog, with Herpes, that smells like farts.

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The ability to turn into Gary Coleman

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the power to waste the space in the typing boxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx :D

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The ability to know what people think of you when they see you. But you already know everyone hates you.

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The power to tell time every other second. sometimes.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!