the power to not watch south park

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The power to make dad jokes.

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The ability to run quickly, but you cannot walk.

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Q: What is 1+1? A: An equation.... Duh...

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The ability to be absurdly clever and funny only when you're alone.

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The ability to inhale carbon dioxide and exhale oxygen.

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The power of eating but only when you're dead

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The ability to speak to deaf caterpillers

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The power to touch anything that is touchable.

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The power to get massive boners when you are reading a presentation.

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The power to read minds but only if the person is thinking the exact same thing as you.

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The power to burst into flames but not be immune to heat.

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The power to stop typing about the power. IT'S OVER 9000.

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Imortality.

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The ability to turn your semen into spiders.

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The power to charge your iPhone if it is not an iPhone

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The power to take away powers but only your own.

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The power to agree to the "Terms of Service" without actually reading them.

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The power to be invincible to every thing but fire water tornadoes bullets explosions guns knifes blades swords grenades sticks pointy objects disease infections sicknesses flu illness natural disasters accidents vehicles trucks electricity meteors bombs rockets drug addiction peer pressure starvation tiredness torture pain monkeys radiation

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the power of having 4 stomachs and being able to digest grass

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The power to produce 5 times the normal amount of ball sweat.

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The ability to stop and keep people from sneezing.

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the power to walk through unlocked doors

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The power to find the droid you're looking for.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!