The power to sing wonderfully but at a pitch only dogs can hear

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the power to ejaculate 69% of what you normally do

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The power to stop moral man from writing morals under every comment... Moral: The damn CIA cant go trough my battlestation, because I use this computer via proxy and can change my IP at will, so you literally would have to blow up the anti-bomb shelters in Micronesia and thus kill a key element of the pirate bay... And who would want that... buy your own music and movies? Download your own games? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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The power to believe Jehova's witnesses.

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the power to make rotten food go good again, but only if it's exactly 2 months, 4 days, 9 hours and 13 minutes old.

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The power to stop your self from moving for all eternity

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The power to lose body parts by merely thinking about losing said parts coupled together with worry. I.e. I hope I don't lose my testicles.... Damn-it!!

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Be able to hear all the alarmclocks in the world

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make youself dumb

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the power to shoot fireballs only when your underwater

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The power to instantly kill anyone you start to love

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the power to catch em' all

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The power to... We're sorry, but something went wrong. We've been notified about this issue and we'll take a look at it shortly.

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The power to walk after gettin kicked in the nuts

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The power to turn Justin Bieber into a Man.

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The power to teleport yourself anywhere you want except for your major organs.

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Being able to be invisible when no one is watching.

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The power to surround yourself in fire, but only when you're underwater.

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The power to do a hand stand with your feet

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power to breathe in water but when you get in to water you gonna die in 30 seconds

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The power to fly 3 inches.

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The ability to teach someone how to blink.

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The power to attract lightning strikes to yourself.

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The power to eat a ridiculous amount sandwiches without getting full

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!