- Pointless Super Powers

The power to obey gravity

The power to read minds but only when you're alone

Power to sleep without eyelids

The ability to be in fashion.

The power to wait for the moment... TO THE NEXT WAITING MOMENT! And then the wait for the moment... FOR THE NEXT WAITING MOMENT

the power to become a duck but not be able to quack

The power to be on mars. Not survive, not go between mars and earth. You could just instantaneously be on mars, then probably die.

The power to orgasm everytime you pee.

the power to stare at someone without blinking or smiling for ever

The power to have explosive diarrhea after eating Chipotle

The power to do nothing at all without getting bored or tired.

The power to sit down as long as you are not in contact with anything.

The power to automatically yell every action you do like in a Japanese fighting game, I once started doing this for fun, at the end of the day eveyone hated me, good luck. (OPEN DOOR! OPEN DOOR! CLOSE DOOR! POOL SHOT! CUMMING HARD CUMMING HARD! SONIC BOOM! BEING TOLD TO SHUT UP! BEING TOLD TO SHUT UP! TAKING A PUNCH TO THE FACE UPPERCUT!)

the ability to shoot a little steam cloud from your penis every time you finish peeing

The power to Silence everyone when they're saying anything

The power to become the worlds most famous necrophilia pørnstar after dying.

the power to like Liam Brudenell, That is pointless

The power to clone yourself, except all your clones become Catholic priests. Moral: "Mommy! It was HE who touched me!"

the power to be like charlie sheen and relize that my score is 0

power to transform into a dick with legs

Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

The power to crash land ANY vehicle you steer/control. "Hah finally I got a tank! OMG ITS GAINING SPEED ON ITS OWN IN FRONT OF THAT GIANT RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMP!

The superpower to realize that if you guys thumb my former comment up, then it is no longer a useless "superpower" and would by itself contradict uh... itself.. by being useful... Moral: Hey, turning into Beiber at will is useful for banging silly young chicks at will is it not? And I will rather bang brainless women (beliebers yes I mean you, because everyone deserves some love) Disclaimer: Sexual age of consent is 16 over here, and good luck calling a whole nation for pedophiles, nope girls simply mature faster here... Fact: Above.

The power to give others the power to give others the same power at will.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!