The ability to have superman's powers and weaknesses, but have an 100% chance to have a suit made of indestructible kryptonite.

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The power to crap without pissing.

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The ability to walk on your hands because your feet have nails in them.

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The power to be so fast, that if you sprint forward you travel the whole world just in time to fuck yourself.

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The power to stop moral man from writing morals under every comment... Moral: The damn CIA cant go trough my battlestation, because I use this computer via proxy and can change my IP at will, so you literally would have to blow up the anti-bomb shelters in Micronesia and thus kill a key element of the pirate bay... And who would want that... buy your own music and movies? Download your own games? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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Strength to instantly kill anyone just by lightly tapping them, as long as they're physically stronger than you.

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The power to make awesome school lunch for the kids!

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The power to swear if you do not believe in a God. Moral: Meh... if I post anything against God here you guys will thumb me down and that matters... it matters so much that I will use the section over to shit talk God... yeah... thumb me down already fearing zealots... show me your true power (being Gods bitches) now that is pointless power!

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The power to read the minds of sandwhiches.

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Super empathy! The power to feel the suffering of every living being...

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The power to wiggle your big toe whenever you have a car accident with a baby gorilla on the passenger seat every other Thursday of every other leap year.

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the power to put paper to your nose and blow strange liqeud type substance into it.

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The power to look like Stephen Hawking but have none of his intelligence.

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The ability to fly for 14 seconds every decade.

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The power to find gold in your nose but only when you pick it in front of others

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The power to die and not come back to life.

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The power to make Thursday come before Friday and after Wednesday.

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The ability to rectify health and safety concerns, using a sword.

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The power to be any animal you want, but only if you are that specific animal that you want to be.

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The power to count to infinity.

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To be small u could be step on because no one can hearu

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the power to see 3 seconds into the past.

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The ability to breathe out of water.

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The power to make Dylan Zona trip on everything when he walks and falls face first I to a pile of shit

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!