teleport to the place where you stand

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You can hear what people think ...in sign language.

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The power to see water one meter behind you.

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The power to think of witty comebacks 3 days too late

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The power to hide your identity from anyone... who doesn't know who you are.

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the power to pre-tend your a animal ...

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The power to die after life has left you old and decrepit.

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The power to cum cucumbers if you are a man.

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The power to remember the funniest thing in the world and have a full on laughing fit, as long as you are at a funeral.

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The power to have all pointless superpowers, but only on the 12th and or 13th on january on a year that isn't 2015 or lower, but you have to be wearing nothing but purple underwear and a skanky hat.

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the power to allow dumbass powers to be written on this site

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the power to be good at something your already good at.

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The power to have a very keen sense of smell 24/7 but only when a fart is present

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the power to shrink 0.1 millimeter or grow 0.1 millimeter

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The power to fill up your HP, but only when it's full.

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The ability to put on a glove that is slightly too large and have your fingers grow to fit the glove.

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The ability to teleport to distant locations with no way of returning.

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The ability to look directly at the sun without damaging your eyes.

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the power to fire my lazer

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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The power to turn on your tv with your mind as long as the remote is in your hand and has batteries.

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The power to shape-shift only into a human

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The ability to make slightly off colored flags of any country that can not be used in combat.

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To Shoot Piss Out Of Your Mouth Only If You Are Taking A Dump

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!