The power to buy free things.

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THE SUPER FRIENDS HEROES LEAGUE OF SUPER HEROES OF LESSER USEFUL HEROES! KNIGHT FARTSALOT!: Fear my methane! You and me in one small room for 3 days and you will faint for sure! Uncle Diabeetush: Save their parents Captain! Ill take care of their children! Captain Novolin: I have great sugar level control! Help me! Evil Mistress Sugarpie is too sweet! Runald MagnifiCient Donalds: HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR WOOOOO! I keep American people from starvation! Remember kids less than 250 pounds counts as starvation! And their LEADER... MORAL MAN!: The hell am I introducing myself here for? Damn you Subconscious! How can you expect people to understand my genius of putting myself here! They are morons! Oh... hi everybody.. wazzup?

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The power to vomit every time you look at a cat.

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the power to attract flying frisbees to your own nose

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The power to say WACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM FLAILING TUBE MAN - but only at peoples funerals or when taking a piss (but you uncontrolably flail your arms).

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The power to bingewatch an entire season of a TV show in only five minutes, only to not remember any of it and have to watch it all again through normal means.

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The power to move things by 1cm with your mind.l

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the power to sing amazingly but only when someone is 158,00000000000 times louder

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The ability to teleport a maximum of two inches.

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The power to make jokes about death while performing dangerous surgery or defusing a bomb

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The power to Rage Against The Machine

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The power to grow bigger, but never smaller.

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To change your eye colour when ever you want

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The power to eat razorblades, but only when covered in a mixture of antifreeze, bile and tabasco sauce.

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The amazing ability to shoot any liquid substance out of your eyes, with a requirement being you must douse your eyes with the substance beforehand.

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The power to make awesome school lunch for the kids!

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the power to become a duck but not be able to quack

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The power to cry whole bananas grown in Brazil.

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The power to read the minds of sandwhiches.

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The power to sit for extended periods of time in front of the computer doing pointless things. The person who is reading this has that pointless superpower otherwise he would be doing something productive.

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ability to smack the crap out of austin calhounh and laugh at him

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The power to see through walls, but only when you're in a glass room.

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The power to make your nose blink.

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The ability to to die whenever you want. RIP

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!