The power to fire lasers from my nipples.

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The power to turn vaseline into mercury whenever you think about throwing away a perfectly good taco

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The power to not remember, the only problem, is that you don't remember having this awesome power.

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The Power to f*** her right in the p***y!!

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The power to change your urine to any color

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The power to swear if you do not believe in a God. Moral: Meh... if I post anything against God here you guys will thumb me down and that matters... it matters so much that I will use the section over to shit talk God... yeah... thumb me down already fearing zealots... show me your true power (being Gods bitches) now that is pointless power!

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The power to change the TV channel but only when the remote is in your hand

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The power to never be old but died at young age

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The power to look like Stephen Hawking but have none of his intelligence.

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The power to still believe in Santa Clause.

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The power to create peanut butter and jelly sandwiches without having any peanut butter.

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The ability to make any amount of money appear in your wallet. The money is in the form of the Neptunarian Dollar, which has no value anywhere on Earth.

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the power to see 3 seconds into the past.

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The power to run really fast, but only when facing brick walls 2 ft away.

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The power to be invisible when singing

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The power to have super human strength but only when sleep walking.

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The power to smell any point in time

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the ability to turn into justin bieber, but they can only say i like you very much

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The power to get an A+ on every test- but you need to study for 5 hours or so ahead of time

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The ability to control the universe everytime you lick your own elbow!

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The power to touch your toes

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The power to telepathically open umbrellas, only open and only umbrellas.

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The power to reverse walk backwards.

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the power to disappear up your own asshole

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!