The ability to turn anything into a belt.

The power to always find lost objects... right after buying a replacement.

The power to eat food a little faster. So when you are done you have to just stay there for 5 more minutes for everybody to finish

The power to explode or fly at mach 10, but those powers can activate involuntarily, without warning

The power to teleport to the middle of the Pacific Ocean

the power to stop sitting on the internet wacthing cat videos

The power to see in the dark only when the lights are on

The power to jump 1 centimeter off the ground and be hungry and if you don't get food within a nano second you'll die of exposure to any form of matter

The power to bleed

The power to change your eyebrows daily

The power to teleport to the last place you shit.

The power to drink and drive without being caught

The power to be asleep while in bed

The ability to fly but, if you use it, birds start flocking around you and shitting on you.

The power to shoot glue from your penis

The power to run at the slowest speed possible.

The ability to be a plonk and post 'Pointless Super Powers' that aren't pointless and are could actually be quite useful.

The power to run half as fast as whoever is chasing you.

the power to find a needle in a haystack

Liam Brudenell

The power to walk 1% faster.

The power to instantly waste all your money on cheap mango chutney at will.

The ability to pull Bleach Flavored lighter fluid out of your ass every time you see a modern feminist or a Jacob Satorious video

The ability to turn into a slightly damp sponge

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!